Tuesdays Thought: Characters

CHARACTERS ARE NOT OUR CHILDREN. Never hesitate to throw them into the path of a bus.
-Angela Ackerman

Opera and Hot Dog Buns

I walked through the grocery store the other day on a quick bread-milk-candy bar run and as I rounded the bread section I heard opera coming from the speakers. I love opera and so I stood still trying to place the song and confirm that, yes in fact the grocery store was playing opera and not Phil Collins.

Well it was All I Ask of You from Phantom of the Opera. Not an opera in the true sense but the style of singing was opera.

I curved my way over to the milk section and again found myself hearing a familiar song that I had to stop to identify. This time it was U2's All I Want is You, which happens to be on the Reality Bites Soundtrack. The Reality Bites Soundtrack was the soundtrack to my sophomore and junior year of high school. It was CONSTANTLY playing it, in my car, in my bedroom, while I brushed my teeth. I loved-loved-loved that song.

Then I found the candy bar aisle. I like to take my time in this section. Imported chocolates are a weakness of mine and if I only get one bar then it better be the best one. But with so many good ones, which one is the best one. So I stood there comparing white chocolate/coconut with milk chocolate/irish cream.  Then the music changed again.
I listened....
It was from the 1910-1930's....
It was Music! Music! Music!
You know Put another nickel in. In the nickelodeon. All I want is luvin you and music! Music! Music!
What? You say that you don't know that song?
Well I do...

I know all the words to all of those songs...

All of those strange
never heard in the grocery store before
songs

When I got in my car I figured out what happened.

Somehow the store tapped into the radio in my brain.

It was an omen.
It was good paranormal novel fodder.
It was something out of an episode of Believe It or Not (albeit a rather boring episode.)

Good thing I didn't have this in my head.

*Random Alert* Flying High

In just a little while I will be flying across this here US of A.
I'm an eager flyer because I almost always fly for pleasure. So much of the flying part amuses me to no end. This video I recorded of one of those movies they make you watch before you can fly. Sorry it's sideways, I'm just really tech savvy like that.

I had no idea what they were saying (I don't speak Hungarian) 

but the silly SIM people made me chuckle.

BUT if I ever fly to New Zealand you better believe I will be flying with 

New Zealand Air so that I can have the pleasure of watching this baby below

Wow, right? 

If you were wondering what Richard Simmons had been up to, 

you're not wondering anymore. 

But as I'm watching some underpaid airline attendant mock putting on and taking off oxygen masks and life preservers, I'm gonna be sweating to the oldies in my head. 

'Cause that's just how I roll (errrr...fly.)

Tension, can you feel it?

Rachel Morgan and Cally Jackson are hosting a 

POWER OF TENSION BLOGFEST 

(I figured I could capitalize the letters to give you the impression that

 James Earl Jones was saying it into an echo mic- did it work?)

Here is a bit from a WIP.

(I'm having trouble with the formatting, please be forgiving) 

Now, without further ado:

“Hello.”

“Tom, I’m here at the store with a cart full of food and they keep telling me that our card doesn’t work.” Her voice had a tight, strained sound. She was on the brink of tears, “Is that right? Do you know why our credit card wouldn’t work?”

“Oh,” Tom said sitting on the floor with his back to the door. Standing felt too complicated. “Susan, Anthony called this morning and they’ve frozen our personal accounts as well. I guess I should have told you but I just didn’t know exactly what that meant.”

“So we can’t use our credit cards anymore?”

“He didn’t say that but I think that must be what’s happening.”

Chelsea, their two-year-old daughter, wailed in the background.

“Chelsea, I’m talking to mommy right now. I’ll get you out of there in just a minute.”

“Get her out of where?” Susan asked.

“She locked herself in her room.”

“Oh.....Did you even put money in checking?”

He sighed, “Yeah.”

Chelsea pounded on the door, Tom bouncing with each thud. Her wailing became screechy, making him wince.

“The bank is on the other side of town, Tom.” Tom cupped his hand over his ear so he could hear her quiet pathetic voice over the roaring child. “I have to leave this cart full of food here for, who knows how long,” she said, beginning to softly cry, “and drive to the bank to see if we have money in there?”

“I don’t know what else to tell you,” Tom lied. He knew what he should say. I’m sorry. This is my fault. I should have never dragged you into this. Instead he said, “You’re just going to have to do it.”

Susan sniffled.

"Bye," she said.

Then Tom noticed everything was too quiet.

As a new writer I am ALWAYS looking to improve my craft.

If you have any tips for me, PLEASE tell me.

If you know of a great blog post, book, etc. that could teach me

what part of tension, I'm falling short on.

TELL ME!

I want to learn.

(again, feel free to put James Earl Jones' echo voice

 into anything in all caps- it actually increases tension by 70%)

Writing Wednesday: A Provost Sentence & A Butcher Question

This is what I look like when I write. 

Seriously. I am black and white. I have several pencils, as well as hands. My tongue sticks out and I perspire like crazy!

One of my favorite little tricks when brainstorming and plotting is the Provost Sentence. I first came across it in Rubie's How to Tell a Story. It helps me with my structure. It helps me to make sure that I have a story worth fleshing out.

Here she blows:

* * * * *
Once upon a time, something happened to someone, and he decided that he would pursue goal. So he devised a plan of action, and even though there were forces trying to stop him, he moved forward because there was a lot at stake. And just as things seemed as bad as they could get, he learned an important lesson, and when offered the prize he had sought so strenuously, he head to decide whether or not to take it, and in making that decision he satisfied a need that had been created by something in his past.

* * * * *
Jim Butcher has his own sentence (I think he stole from a class at some time) which creates a story question.

*WHEN SOMETHING HAPPENS*, *YOUR PROTAGONIST* *PURSUES A GOAL*. But will he succeed when *ANTAGONIST PROVIDES OPPOSITION*?


You just fill in the plot of your story into these sentences.


If I can figure out my plot well enough to write these sentences (succinctly and with some intriguing) then I know I'm on my way to a good story. And when it comes to that point is novel writing that I have to write summaries and queries I feel one step ahead.


Hope this helps :)


P.S. Butcher's Dresden Files are free on Hulu right now. I love these. Purely food for the imagination.

Because You Care Enough To Prepare Enough

So with all this apocalyptical chit-chat that’s been going around I’ve been thinking that there is a big hole left in the insurance field.

If my husband had been raptured on Saturday, I would have been left to deal with at least 3 of our 5 kids (I’m not telling which ones ;) and the mortgage payments on my own.

Can you see what I mean? Serious gap.

So I am starting my own Rapture Insurance Company. It's there to help poor sinners like myself, who have yoked themselves to the perfect (foolish, foolish them), deal with the widowhood (or widowerhood) of post-apocalyptical earth.

Just send me your money monthly….

How’s this for a slogan: Good luck getting raptured unless you’ve taken care of those you’ll leave behind.

Any more good slogans out there for my new venture?

Blog Roll Call

http://blogs.kansascity.com/crime_scene/morgue_file/

Since this blog is shiny and new, I don't have anyone on my Blog List. 

For the first three months my Blog List is up for grabs. 

Anyone who would like a link from my blog to theirs just leave a comment 

with your blog link in it. 

Easy Schmeasy!

Oh, the troubles of new technology!

I feel like such a teeny tiny blue bird hopping around aimlessly on Twitter. I am having so much trouble understanding the medium. I can Facebook, chat, video conference, text, email, and blog but I'm a pretty terrible tweeter. I keep looking for the 'like' button. I want to make a brief comment about someone's tweet but not subject everyone who follows me to this "LOL" or "Me too!!"

I just have to remind myself that I am not the first person who was befuddled by new technology.

I am willing to take any Twitter advice anyone has for me.

I'm pretty Twerrible. 

(Yes, I just said that. No, I won't delete it.)

Follow your Dreams

I know that a lot of my writing friends dream about a book deal.

Well, I'm here to tell you that even a dog can get a book deal.

Boo loves Oprah, the color pink, and chicken. But Boo also has over 1.2 million fans on Facebook and makes his own YouTube vlog of sorts. It's this kind of popularity that got Boo a book deal with Chronicle Books for his debut book to come out this fall and it's called  

http://www.juliaroy.com/juliapatriciaroy/2011/05/boo-lands-a-book-deal.html

SO I think the RECIPE for sucess here is:

1. Make yourself really cute

2. Become a YouTube celebrity

3. Get 1.2 million friends on Facebook

4. Write a book

I think I've just been doing things out of order this whole time. Thanks Boo for the help :)

My very first blogfest entry

I'm trying something new today, can you tell?

I'm doing my very first blogfest. I'm not sure that I even know what that means but I followed the instructions found on The World Is My Oyster and I think I am supposed to blog a joke.

So in college I had this good friend named Pete and one day he asked me if I wanted to go and audition for this sketch comedy troupe. I asked what I needed to audition with and he told me that the fliers said we could 'come as we are'. So we went dressed as crocodiles. I wish! We just went in jeans and t-shirts. We arrived early to get a feel for what was expected of us and figured out that 'come as you are' means 'come up with something right now.' Pete was nervous but excited and decided he would do his Elvis impression and asked me what else he should do. I was grilling my brain (nice visual don't you think) for anything and everything funny that was up there. But the danger was that I was doing this while watching people prat fall, quote Tommy Boy, and yell general craziness. They looked like fools and I began weighing my odds to whether I would fare much better. My decision was that, if I tried, I was doomed to equal foolishness. Pete was not so easily dissuaded. He was going to do his Elvis impression (did I mention that he was from England and had a strong accent) and kept pestering me for more ideas. So I told him to tell this joke (see below) and HE GOT IN THE GROUP! They auditions kids for 3 straight hours, only took 3 boys total, and he got in on an Elvis impression and the aforementioned joke. This joke is that good! (Long intro I know but it will be SO worth it)

The Joke

A duck walked into a bar and asked the bartender, "Got any duck food?" The bartender responded, "We don't serve duck food here." The duck dropped his little duck head and walked out of the bar. 

The next day the duck walked back into the bar and asked the bartender, "Got any duck food?" The bartender responded, "Didn't you hear me yesterday? We don't serve duck food here." Chagrinned, the duck waddled out. 

The next day the duck walked back into the same bar and asked the bartender, "Got any duck food?" The bartender looked at him for a minute and then said, "Look, I don't want to tell you again. We don't serve duck food here. We don't even serve ducks here. Come into this bar again and ask for duck food and I'm going to nail your feet to the floor." The duck shrugged and left without incident.

The next day the duck waddled himself right up to the same bar. The bartender looked at him warily. "Got any nails?" the duck asked.

"No," said the befuddled bartender.

"Good. Got any duck food?" 

Was I right or was I right? Best joke ever!

I don't think I can ever think about that joke without hearing Pete's british accent

("Gawt any duck foo'd") 

and you better believe that I auditioned for the same group the next year

(with something already prepared- dug out that crocodile suit) 

and made it in. 

Comedy is such a fickle friend.

Genres

There is a lot of talk about genres in the publishing industry and I have been getting closer to understanding the subtle nuances
BUT this clarified everything



This was a video that Sarah Eden made for the LDStorymakers Writers Conference this May. If you don't know Sarah, you should! She writes the cutest romance novels. What? You don't read cute romance novels? Then what about some kissing, bad mouthed, vampire novels? I think they call that YA?
(I kinda threw up in my mouth looking at those vampire books)

Shannon Hale-author extraordinaire

So unbeknownst to her, Shannon Hale, is one of my idols.

Because she is so relatable-
We both have bald husbands (who are ridiculously nice)
We both did comedy in college (but she knew when to stop- I'll probably be doing pratfalls until they result in hip replacements)
We both have twins (the topics that comes up the most when we see each other...I dunno, once a year)
We're both ravishingly good looking.
You get the idea.

She is really easy to talk to, but I always feel a little silly because she doesn't know that I write (because I don't tell her that I write- what am I so ashamed of?) She also doesn't know that I horde her books like they'll go out of print (one for me, one for my daughter, one for my daughter's daughter...) And she definitely doesn't know that I named my chickens, Midnight, In, and Austenland (we'll be enjoying those babies fried in January 2012.)
Obviously I'm exaggerating.
The chickens are for laying eggs.
But I wasn't exaggerating about Shannon, being an author extraordinaire.

So now that I have poured my bosom secrets out, my blog reading friends (hi mom!) what do you say we lighten the mood with a little Shannon Hale horror stories: OINK SQUEETUS
(Her blog post seriously had me rolling)

Enjoy!
I have some chicken to feed. TILL JANUARY 2012!

Wait a minute. Hold the phone. You write?

I know some of my friends and family are asking themselves right now, 'How come I never knew Shelly was a writer?' And some of you are saying, 'Oh man, if I could just get Shelly to stop talking about her stories.' And some of you are saying, 'Oh man, how do you get Shelly to stop talking?' (There are actually more of you out there than you might have known- can I suggest a support group?)

For those who want to know a little more about my secret life as a writer, here goes:

I've been writing since I was 5 years old. It was really hard for me at first. Sometimes my letters were backwards. Sometimes I got that callous on my middle finger from my pencil. And sometimes, just sometimes, I wrote a word all by myself with no help. Skip to college and I stopped getting that pencil callous (thanks to computers), I spelled almost everything correctly (thanks to spell check), and nearly everything I wrote was research papers (thanks to my degree in history.) When I left college I stopped writing (ha-ha-ha, writing is like talking- I NEVER STOP!)

But I didn't dip my hand into writing fiction for a long time. I don't know about you guys but I have things in my life, I'm pretty sure I'm not very good at. In that category fell poetry, songwriting, and storytelling.

But one day, I was melancholy, missing my nieces and nephew who lived on the other side of the country. In my funk I had a brush with inspiration. I could write them a story with their names in it. Then they would know that I love them and maybe it would make me miss them less.

And that's how I got the bug.

If any of you want a taste of what I write, I'd be honored to send you a short story for your perusal.

In the meanwhile thank you for your support

Why I have an Author Blog...

Alright, I have known I should be doing this for a while now. It's been poking at me and pestering me for the past month. Yesterday a friend said she would cyberstalk my empty blog waiting for me to post. But still, nothing.  I even told myself this morning, that I should start it next Monday (Why Monday? All I knew was that Monday wasn't today.)

Then today on writerunboxed I saw this article on having an author blog.
Today!
It's like the universe was hitting me on the head.
I get it.
I get it.
I get it.

So here I am.

I highly recommend reading the article on writerunboxed as it applies to marketing social media and very few of us can consider ourselves exempt from that nowadays. It talks about the idea that having a twitter and a facebook is not enough. You control your material better on blogs. That is a universal idea.