POWER OF TENSION BLOGFEST
(I figured I could capitalize the letters to give you the impression that
James Earl Jones was saying it into an echo mic- did it work?)
Here is a bit from a WIP.
(I'm having trouble with the formatting, please be forgiving)
Now, without further ado:
“Tom, I’m here at the store with a cart full of food and they keep telling me that our card doesn’t work.” Her voice had a tight, strained sound. She was on the brink of tears, “Is that right? Do you know why our credit card wouldn’t work?”
“Oh,” Tom said sitting on the floor with his back to the door. Standing felt too complicated. “Susan, Anthony called this morning and they’ve frozen our personal accounts as well. I guess I should have told you but I just didn’t know exactly what that meant.”
“So we can’t use our credit cards anymore?”
“He didn’t say that but I think that must be what’s happening.”
Chelsea, their two-year-old daughter, wailed in the background.
“Chelsea, I’m talking to mommy right now. I’ll get you out of there in just a minute.”
“Get her out of where?” Susan asked.
“She locked herself in her room.”
“Oh.....Did you even put money in checking?”
He sighed, “Yeah.”
Chelsea pounded on the door, Tom bouncing with each thud. Her wailing became screechy, making him wince.
“The bank is on the other side of town, Tom.” Tom cupped his hand over his ear so he could hear her quiet pathetic voice over the roaring child. “I have to leave this cart full of food here for, who knows how long,” she said, beginning to softly cry, “and drive to the bank to see if we have money in there?”
“I don’t know what else to tell you,” Tom lied. He knew what he should say. I’m sorry. This is my fault. I should have never dragged you into this. Instead he said, “You’re just going to have to do it.”
"Bye," she said.
Then Tom noticed everything was too quiet.
As a new writer I am ALWAYS looking to improve my craft.
If you have any tips for me, PLEASE tell me.
If you know of a great blog post, book, etc. that could teach me
what part of tension, I'm falling short on.
I want to learn.
(again, feel free to put James Earl Jones' echo voice
into anything in all caps- it actually increases tension by 70%)