Friday, February 10, 2012

Emotion: I'm Hearing Voices

By Shelly Brown

I’m Hearing Voices

Here's the criteria for today's portion of the blogfest:

 Emotion is the engine of a story. Pick an emotion and in a flash fiction piece of 250 words MAKE us feel it! We want to connect with your character. This will be a challenge in 250 words.

I will warn you. This is a little twisted. More twisted than my normal writing but it's flash fiction and this is how it came out:


“Sarah!” I yelled, “I hate you! Give that back.”

She flung my diary at me.

“Jacob?” Her face contorted.

I burned hot. “You had no right to read that.”

“Hannah, that’s disgusting.”

“It’s not like I’m going around telling people. I’m working on my own issues, OK? I can’t 
believe you read that. Nobody was ever supposed to read that.”

“He’s your stepbrother. Does he know?”

“Don’t be stupid. Of course not.”

“I think he should.”

I died a little as I saw her leave our room.

“Mom!” Sarah yelled down the hall. Dianne was in the kitchen and when Sarah reached her 
Sarah spilled everything she just learned.

“Is this true, Hannah?” Dianne asked.

Silence and hot tears.

“She should go live with her mom,” Sarah said.

Not an option but I wasn't going to talk about it.

Just then Jacob walked in with Greg and Steven.

Sarah’s eyes got big and she leapt for them.

“Don’t Sarah.” My tears of anger turned pleading. “No, Sarah. Please.” The physical scramble and the emotional supplication wore on my nerves until I screeched in desperation.

Sarah laughed.

“Hannah is in love with you. She has been for years. That’s why she broke up with Steven.” She spat out the words, turned on her heels, and left.

No one said anything. Not Jacob. Not Steven. Not Dianne. Without making eye contact with anyone I left. Sarah was right. I was disgusting.


Did you guys know that Rachel Harrie is doing her fourth writers platform building campaign. If you would like to grow your blog readership it is a great way to do it. Join the fun HERE! You have till the 15th to sign up, but do it before you forget!


  1. Hi, fellow Campaigner here just looking in. I liked your piece a lot, and am looking forward to read more during the Challenges.

  2. sarah is evil
    i felt invasion, anger, desperation and helplessness.
    what a scene! awesome job!

  3. AW. poor Hannah. Sarah, what a jerk! I want to punch her!

  4. Whoa. Lots of emotion there, and all I feel is sorry for Hannah. Great job.

  5. Sarah - what a creep! Poor Hannah! And what does Jacob think.

    1. That might just have to be flash fiction for another day. :)

  6. Oh my gosh - I feel so bad for her! I just want to hug her. Well done.

  7. Agh! I want to read more! This was super super good! Wow.

  8. That was twisted Shelly (I had a little Flowers in the Attic moment--okay, not that twisted). That was chucked full of desperation, anger, guilt. I LOVED it!

  9. Oh my gosh! That made me want to step on that little girls head for blabbing like that. What a butt head. Poor Hannah:(

  10. Aww. Poor girl. I want to know what Jacob thought!!

  11. I have to say I agree with everyone else! Really wanted to know Jacob's view. Definitely felt for Hannah though.

    (Also, hello lol, just popped over from the campaign to say hello!)

  12. Poor poor Hannah. What a nasty vindictive girl that Sarah is.

  13. Sarah is such a B! Great piece, I want to know what Jacob said or did. I'm stopping by from the campaign to say hello and to hit the follower button.

  14. I wanted you to know you are in my top 10 for this challenge :)

  15. Wow, that totally had my attention. It was so sad, I could feel my heart break a little.

  16. Fellow campaigner here, dropping by to say "Hi". Loved your writing.. as a guy, felt for Jacob hearing that with his buddies right there. Merciless teasing will follow Jacob as well, with a revelation like that. +1 follower.

  17. That was a heartbreaker. I didn't join that challenge, but I did just join the Platform Building Campaign and your MG/YA group. If you get a chance, I’d love to know what you think of my new book intro on my blog, not sure of the word count but short. I was shooting more to generate interest than one particular emotion. I’d like enough opinions to form a good sample before I type my knuckles to the bone. I’m deciding which story elements of the old version to reveal sooner, later, or dump. Thanks! Http://

  18. Fellow campaigner and new follower, (SF group) just checking in.

  19. Nice to meet you! Fellow Campaigner and new follower here! ^_^

  20. Tag, you're it! You've been tagged in a game of 11 Questions being passed around by the Platform-Building campaigners. You can pick up your questions at this link:

  21. Thanks for visiting my blog! I like your screen name!


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