Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Dialogue: I'm Hearing Voices

by Shelly Brown

I’m Hearing Voices

Here is the criteria for this portion of the blogfest:
Have two characters introduce each other using only dialogue—no backstory, no internalization, just dialogue between the two. Max 250 words.

WIP: The Race for Love and Friendship

“Are you going to classes?”


“Get off the couch, girl. It’s been two days. He’s SO not worth this.”

“You just never really knew him like I did.”

“I know he broke up with you on your pocket compy when he just lives across the street.”

“He’s on tour.”

“Where Oakland?”


“He was a total four-oh-four error. Besides, that Malfoy only broke up with you because you can’t be his sugar mama anymore.”

“Not true.”

“I’m sorry, but it is.”

“Oh. My. Gosh. You’re right. This all started when I got cut off.”

“So let's get you showered and to Geography class.”

“Hmmm. Let’s make it a shower and a trip to Humberto’s for taco salads and you have a deal.”

“Tell you what. I gotta skidoo to Drafting and Design but when I get back if you are showered and wearing some color other than black, I’ll pay for Humberto’s.”

“You don’t have that much money.”

“What do you know? I have a few hundred that I saved from plucking instead of waxing yesterday. I tucked it away for just such an emergency like this.”

“You're Fab Tab.”

“I know. Now stop crying. This shirt is silk.”

“I noticed. I can’t stop rubbing my cheek against it.”

“Get off! Go get showered and I’ll be back in an hour.”

So what did you gather from these characters? Gender, age, lifestyle? What is going on in the scene? Anything jar you out of the story? Anything you liked?


  1. excellent verbage and slang! totally!

  2. Well, you can tell the characters are young and one is heart-broken and the other, not so sympathetic. I enjoyed the piece.

  3. This was entertaining. I could feel the emotion in these two.

  4. Fabulous voice! In every bit of it, there was no question which character was which, even without dialogue tags. Well done!

  5. I like how one character seems to be the voice of reason, while the other is going through a heartbreak. The reasonable character is just what she needs to help get over it.

  6. College roomies, true friends. Good job.

  7. I'm guesses some college roomies as well. And two people who look out for each other by telling it how it is. Great voice in here and awesome exchange :)

  8. I hate to be the spoiler for everyone, but that's a direct transcript of the Lincoln-Douglas debates, right?

    I want to use "Malfoy" as an insult now! I never heard that one before. This was really well-done -- I'm guessing, two girls, age 22. The dumped-sugar-mama has short, artsy hair and prefers to wear tank tops that she makes herself by tearing (not cutting) the sleeves off her older brother's t-shirts. The friend who plucked is the slightly older, slightly heavier, of the two. She's more athletic, probably tried out as the kicker on her high school football team to make a point that one can be feminine and athletic at the same time, and likes to use nondairy creamer but only ironically.

    (Yes, I am on medication. Why do you ask?)

    Is this from a book? I've only just found this blog.

    1. I don't know what your medication dosage is but DON'T CHANGE A THING!
      This has to be one of the funniest comments I have ever had on my blog.

      Though it is common knowledge that Lincoln was a gay crybaby and Douglas wore silk shirts, this is a fictional retelling and not a direct transcript. But the fact that you thought so was SUPER flattering :D

  9. Wow I love it! I'm guessing two friends in college, maybe around the 21 years old?? Just a guess. Anyway, I thought it was really good! Great job :)

  10. College roommates (21-22) - not necessarily in a dorm - good friends - one is definitely the voice of reason at this point, and the other is heartbroken. Great dialogue, and loved the Malfoy insult!!!
    Their conversation felt very real.

  11. Too funny Shelley! But I'm not surprised. I just loved the voice in this :) Fab job!

  12. Yeah, they definitely sound like college, but early college (18-19) not the later college.
    Nice voice.

  13. You're a total natural at writing and being funny. I love it!

  14. I pictured two women. One of them was face down on a couch for most of the conversation, but rolled over when she said, "You're right."

    Hope this helps.

  15. I think the friend cares about the heartbroken more than she wants to let on :-)

  16. Ha! How fun. I pictured two college roomies. Fun conversation!

  17. “I know. Now stop crying. This shirt is silk.”
    “I noticed. I can’t stop rubbing my cheek against it.”

    SO something me and my roommate would do. Or well, something I would do to him. When we first met I told him his shirt looked like toilet paper. True story.

    Loved it!

  18. I'm picturing a slightly older sibling and a more adolescent one?
    I love the line: 'make it a shower and a trip to Humberto’s'

  19. Great exchange. I think the brokenhearted one is female, the silk shirt one male. College students. Close friends.

  20. That was cute....I like the exchanged between them. They have a good rapport.

    Thanks for the follow on my blog....I'm loving "meeting" new writers through this campaigning shindig. And your blog rocks....nice to meet ya :)

  21. I wanted you to know you are in my top 10 for this challenge :)

  22. Tab is totally a geek, 404 error and everything. I love it. They sound like college roommates, who've known each other for a while, so 2nd or 3rd year I'd guess.


Comments are the sunshine butter on the toast of life.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...