Thursday, June 23, 2011

Seven Random Facts

Kimberly Krey, the doughnut conoiseur, is my friend on every social network because of three reasons, we both like to eat sweets, we both write, we're both women, and we both attended LDStorymakers 2011. If you can count you might not want to follow this blog; math is not one of my strong suits.
Well Kimberly and I were talking about how hard it is to find a good nanny (the good ones always want to be paid) and how we're not sure if doughnuts are kosher, and we got on the topic of what we would say about ourselves if we ever got on a game show.

Then my overactive imagination got the best of me...

So, picture me running up to Drew Carey (he does Price is Right now, right?), with a T-shirt that I puffy painted "PICK ME" on the front and "Kiss me Drew Carey!" on the back, waving my hands like a maniac and screaming--

Drew- So, Shelly (nice shirt by the way) tell me a little bit about yourself.

Shelly- Thanks for asking, Drew. I want to tell you seven things.

1. In San Francisco I was the Pepsi Sister for my sorority. The best part is that I'm so "Sandra Dee" pure and holy that I don't even drink Pepsi. They put an addictive chemical that makes you crave it fortnightly.

2. My husband proposed on the grounds of the Mental Institution. Fitting.

3.  I have always wanted to be a lounge/jazz singer.  Not one of those cute blond front girls in a Dorsey Band but a overweight black lady with pipes like no other.  I have yet to fulfill that fantasy.

4. I know how to fight with a broadsword.

5.  Once in the movie theaters I leaned over to my husband and whispered, pointing to the screen, “I think I’ve kissed that guy.” Then he asked his favorite question, “Before or after we were married?" "After."

6. I once stayed up for 36 hours trying to get Disneyland Resort hotel rooms for $1. Which totally tops how long I waited in line to get opening tickets to Episode One and all the time I waited to see Sundance Films. And I waited for 3 days straight to get on this show today. I LOVE YOU DREW CAREY!!!

7. I read real estate books. For fun.

Then Drew Carey dips me into a passionate kiss in front of a national audience of elderly, unemployed, and SAHM's. I faint but only briefly because I still have to spin the wheel!

Actually Kimberly gave me an award.
It was something like this.

I am then supposed to tag people but I'm kinda tired of tagging SO, If you want one of these COOL awards on your blog (and I'm pretty sure you do) then blog 7 random facts about yourself (to an imaginary game show host or not, your choice.)

OR just put it on your blog. I won't hold you to the 7 random facts thing.

Man, I'm pushy!


  1. You're SO funny Shelly--funnier than Drew :)

  2. I hope all 7 of these are true, because they are high-larious. So tell me, which actor did you engage in a post-marital lip wrestling contest with? And do you really not drink pepsi? You are too good to be true :)
    Kim again (I can't log-in to gmail for some reason)

  3. I am SO doing this. Hope I can think of 7 random facts quickly.
    I really enjoyed reading this post. :)

  4. Oh--My blog's called don't forget the samovar.

  5. Oh. My. Heck. That is hilarious! You so should have your own show.

    Then you could sing.

  6. I've been at a writing retreat (ROCKED!) and so it took me while to see this. I thought it was so hilarious (and sexy) that I read it out loud to my husband who thought your idea about the puffy paint was "brilliant!" I absolutely LOVE the 'At Least My Mummy Likes My Blog' award. LOL!


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