Heck: Where the Bad Kids Go

I just got done reading this book and let me tell you, Dale E Basye is a comedic genius!

Heck is about siblings, Marlo and Milton, who died mid-mall thieving fiasco and found themselves plopped right into Limbo (the first of the nine circles of Heck.) There are demons standing outside of the Unwelcome Area brandishing sporks and a sign that reads "Abandon all hope, ye who enter here (as well as all cameras and electronic recording devices.)" Bea "Elsa" Bubb, the principal of darkness, appears and beckons the children on. They march beneath the arm of a red plastic devil who's sign says "You must be this short to enter Heck" and eventually under a burning pole with demons chanting, "How low can you go?"

Let me just share some of his funny stuff:

The kids have just been told there are only 17 people in "the penthouse" of heaven and they are guessing who they are:


"George Washington?"
"Ah, yes who could never tell a lie," Bea "Elsa" Bubb spat back. "But he seemed to have no problem owning slaves and leading thousands to war."
"Joan of Arc?"
"French," she answered.
"Mother Theresa?"
"She once had the gall to take a day off after contracting dysentery."

Basye also includes in his author bio a few words about the book:

"There is a time that chafes against childhood and adulthood, leaving a rash that never quite goes a way. Sometimes it itches uncontrollably, and no one can see it. It's like when you wear swim trunks for too long out of the pool. Heck is like that..."

I think comparing Jr. High and High School years to a bathing suit rash that never goes away is brilliant on so many levels!

If you are looking for fodder for your creative juices this is it. But as a warning, this is a Middle Grade (8-12 year old) book and is full of fecal jokes. He's writing to 8-12 year olds; it's his doody.