Wednesday, January 11, 2012

“Survey Says!” (in a Family Feud tone of voice)

By Chad “wow, this is a lot of trouble to go through a survey” Morris

Though vampires, princes/princesses, and mummies all tied for third at 4% (Mummies? Really? Right up there with princesses huh?), and Unicorns came in second with 7% (yeah, it wasn’t very close), looks like most of you would rather fall in love with someone who does the dishes (82%). 

No one was feeling the love for werewolves or zombies.

 (Never saw that coming. Zombies can be so attractive. )

Here were a couple of my favorite comments:

“Vampires are damned, werewolves are inconsistent, mummies are old and dry, zombies will decay and/or bite you, unicorns are animals, and prince/princesses would expect too much of me”

“Actually I don’t mind doing the dishes. If they cleaned the bathrooms however . . . TRUE LOVE.”

“Someone who will do the dishes would be a real “happily ever after” . . .  if only I knew that before I got married . . . “

The question of who would win in a battle of characters was much closer. According to you, Edward wouldn’t fair too well (only 11% thought he would win). Though someone thought he would come out on top “Cause he’s HOT!” (Apparently, attractiveness doesn’t win battles against magic and a whirling light saber.) Dumbledore came in third (21%). It was really down to Yoda (36%) and Gandalf (43%). (Sorry about misspelling his name. Curse spellcheck.)

More entertaining comments:

“I think that in their righteous anger, Dumbledore, Yoda, and Gandalf would gang up on and completely annihilate Cullen for the travesty he has perpetrated on the general IQ’s of females under 80. Then they would sit down and share a smoke/butterbeer while discussing the topic of whether they should go back in time to 1989 and run over George Lucas with a bus.”

Argument for Gandalf - “He’s the only one alive.”

And though the majority would adopt Harry Potter and Anne of Green Gables over other orphans, the Mowgli comments stood out:

“Anne would put me in an Old Folks Home the first second she got. . . . Harry would turn me into a hot air pig balloon if I told him to get off the computer because it was bedtime. Tom would be in and out of Juvie. At least Mowgli wouldn’t require too much baby-ing.”

“Tom Sawyer is an obnoxious troublemaker. Harry is going to just stress me out, and being his adoptive-mother might just get me killed by the Dark Lord. Annie is annoying, and Anne spells her name wrong. Mowgli is a cute . . .”

100% of you had the same favorite blog—Writing with Shelly and Chad. What a strange coincidence. However did that happen? It must really be that good. 

The majority of you would rather be married to Gaston than take the ring to Mordor or be in the hunger games. “All bad options. I think I’d endure living in a mansion with a prick rather than have to do something that will mostly likely kill me though.” And one of you thinks Gaston is “HOT,” while the other defends that the relationship would work by stating, “I’m pretty good at expectorating.”

I asked about your favorite books. Many of you rebelled with statements like “don’t make me choose” and “impossible” and “you're a ludicrous freakshow for even suggesting that I have choose between my babies” (okay not the last one). Just in case you are looking for another great read, he is the list of those who answered:

The Great Gatsby,
Grapes of Wrath,
The Hiding Place,
The Peacegiver,
The Eye of the World,
Small Gods.
Tomorrow When the War Began,
The Road,
Catch 22,
Damnation Alley,
A Princess of Mars,
Retief of the CDT,
Wild Seed,
The Handmaid’s Tale,
Peter and Wendy,
The Divine Conspiracy,
Band of Brothers,
Master and Commander,
the Historian,
The Alchemist,
Atlas Shrugged,
Girl with the Dragon Tatoo,
The Jason Bourne trilogy,
The Princess Bride,
Dogs Don’t Tell Jokes,
Lord of the Flies,
To Kill A Mocking Bird,
Bloody Jack,
Anne of Green Gables,
The Hobbit,
East of Eden,
New Light on the Atonement (brown noser)

The following were mentioned several times: 
Jane Eyre,
The Hunger Games,
Harry Potter,
Twlight Series,

And the book with the most mentions . . . drum roll please . . . Pride and Prejudice

I read that book with Shelly. She had to coach me along the way. Apparently, not squealing when Darcy did "cute things" was unacceptable.  

Most of you haven’t written a book, but 7% of you can finish one in 1-2 months (over achievers).

Here are the books we should plug. Write them down and buy at least 17 copies of each:

The Ryfell Chornicles: The Broken Shield (not yet published)
In God We Trust
By Blood Bequethed
The Tangled Web
War and Peace (I’m assuming you are referring to a new book, and not the class. Or Tolstoy follows my blog---AWESOME! Shout out to Leo!)
The Privileged

And the questions I should have asked in my survey: (Feel free to answer one of these in your comments)
What night are you free to babysit my kids? (Love it. Why didn’t I ask that?)
What should I get my sister-in-law as a “just because” gift? (Now who could have possibly written that?)
Which superpower would you want?
What was the best day of your life so far?
What is the most offensive smell?
What celebrity would you like to go bookstore browsing with?
How do you get published? 
Which characters would I match-up with one another from separate books (i.e. a blind date with Katniss and Frodo)
Which is faster, Millennium Falcon or Starship Enterprise?
How awesome are you on a level of 1-10?
Which literary hero/heroine would you like to push over a cliff?
What book would you like to see made into a musical?
Who do you want to see in hot guys in doublets?

And QUESTION 10 was really just my excuse to put in the joke about closure.

Thanks for playing everyone. 


  1. Okay, more books to check out and add to the never-decreasing list :-)

  2. LOLOL!! This survey was too funny. I'm sad I missed it. So, to make up for missing it, I think I'll answer one of your leftover questions: What is the most offensive smell?

    Easy. Cheap cologne and garlic breath. Ugh. Last Sunday, when I came to church, the whole building smelled of mixed cologne and bad garlic breath. I thought I would die. Btw, I'm pregnant, so my nose is extra sensitive. It's like a supernose or something. And no, I don't want that to be my superpower.

  3. Go Gandalf!

    I read too much Middle Grade so if I were to put two fictional characters together I would match Artemis Fowl and Hermione Granger. She would be really good for him and he could teach her a thing or two.

  4. Holy cow! Where have I been? How did I miss this? AND... I love the Gandalf guy pic! hehehe

  5. Some of those comments are mine, hehehehehe. Um, anyway. What book would I like to see made into musical?

    That's a toughie, but I would say Percy Jackson becasue it's so darn funny and the costumes would be awesome!

  6. hahaha, funny stuff! :)

    But BOO to the anti-Twilight comment. I don't mind someone hating it. I *do* mind someone insulting the intelligence of people who didn't.

  7. Always happy to help. I still say Yoda's lightsaber wins all.


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